Help me choose the best pitch!

If you read yesterday’s post, you’ll know that I’m trying to write a 35-word pitch for Tangled so I can enter it into a super-awesome competition. But summing up 170 000 words in just 35 words is surprisingly difficult – who would’ve thought!

I’ve come up with four pitches and I’d like your opinion on which one you like best (or whether you think they all stink).

  1. Ceara and Seb – country teenagers and complete strangers – are both moving to the city for uni. Ceara’s terrified of her flatmates; Seb’s sure he’ll fail his studies. Will they survive the semester ahead?
  2. Tangled follows the intertwined lives of country teenagers Ceara and Seb as they struggle to adapt to uni life, infuriating flatmates, romantic rejection, family betrayals and shattered friendships. Can they possibly survive the semester ahead?
  3. Ceara’s desperate for love; Seb’s desperate to get laid. Ceara adores reading novels; Seb hasn’t finished a book in years. Two strangers, both moving to Brisbane for uni. A recipe for love, or disaster?
  4. Uni’s supposed to be fun. But for country teenagers Ceara and Seb, adapting to inner-city life seems impossible. As family secrets are uncovered and enduring friendships are shattered, they’re forced to question everything they believe.

Hard to believe they’re all for the same story, right? Anyway, I have less than 24 hours to enter so, no pressure…

VOTE NOW!!!! 😀



Filed under Competitions, Tangled, Writing, YA fiction

13 responses to “Help me choose the best pitch!

  1. I like #3 because it’s the most personal – you get a feel for the characters – and because by describing how different they are in this way makes it seem likely that they might fall in love, which gives the pitch more of an emotional pull – will they fall in love? will their relationship work given how different they are? will getting to know each other make their transition to uni easier or harder? that kind of thing 🙂 Good job! (And in so few words – I’m impressed :))

    • Thanks, Susanna! Glad to hear you liked the pitch so much and it raised so many questions for you. It makes me even more excited for people to finally read the book and to hear what they take from it. 🙂

      • Skimming though the comments, it looks like a lot of people chose 3 – good to have a consensus! – but please let us know which one got the most votes on the poll – I’m really interested 🙂

        • Yep, number 3 was the winner by quite a way and the one I went with. It received 64% of the votes, number 2 received 18%, number 4 received 14% and number 1 received 5%.

          I think a combination of 3 and 2 would represent the book best – but obviously that wasn’t possible within the word count. 🙂

  2. I think three is fab! It’s more snappy and sets up the conflict between these too immediately!
    Good luck 🙂

  3. Nhi

    Humour tends to grab people’s attention most effectively, which is why I voted for number three! Plus it summarises the plot and characters very well. Best of luck Cally!

  4. I’m seeing a pattern here. Guess which one I voted for? 🙂

  5. Haha, my fav is also #3! I see I’m not alone there! Good job. It’s tough enough coming up with one pitch, let alone 4!

  6. I’m a little late, but I agree with the majority and pick #3. It is the cleanest and best describes the attributes of the story.

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